Joanna Lumley

Joanna Lumley is the nicest person in the world.
She walks on air and her smile exudes sunshine.
She heals the sick and even lets some old fighting dude knock about in the country a bit longer.

I've loved her literally my entire life, from Ab Fab to Girl Friday to Shirley Valentine to that program where she went to the Artic Circle and talked about seeing the Northern Lights a lot and then saw them and then I had a little cry.


When I got the call to say she was coming in, I instantly felt sick and thought I was going to do a Kyle all over her heartbreakingly beautiful blouse (she seems like a blouse wearer).
If I was standing up, I would have fallen over.

Anyway, she came in, looking suitably stunning with a little neck scarf and her hair tied up.
When offered coffee she was basically the politest person ever and only wanted it if it wasn't too much trouble.

Too much trouble????
Joanna, I would go to Columbia, grow and collect the beans for you myself, collect the water from my own tears and fashion a mug with clay I have dug for you.
But that would take ages.
Literally nothing is too much trouble for you Joanna.

Because my heart and soul belong to you.
Forever and always.

Moral Subsititute

One of our clients has recently been told by his doctor to give up caffeine but is somewhat lacking in self controll.
There's now a bit sign in the kitchen asking that if he ever orders coffee (which he does at least 10 times a day) to deliver an orange juice instead.


I wish I had one of those in the pub.
"Hi, I'd like a triple gin and tonic please"
"sure"
*hands water*

Fast Times and Fun Times in TV and Editing

No one of any particular interest seems to be in this week.
This week has been sponsered by "Boredom", "Samual Smith" and the letters F, C, I and L.

I suppose it is only wednesday. I'm just being greedy.

Actually, I tell hideous lies.
I've just remembered that the Murdock progeny are in tomorrow.
Lunch is on them then, eh?

Why are you here?

1 -"Hi, I'm here for an online booking"
2 -"I'm looking and we've only got an audio booking listed for you"
1 -"No, I'm here for an online"
2 -"I've only got an audio booking"
1 -"Can you check the other buildings?"
2 -"I have, this audio is the only booking listed on the system, are you sure you're not here for that?"
1 -"No, I'm here for an online"

3 -"Hi I'm Mark, are you here for the audio job?"
1 -"yes, hi"

2 -"....wut?"

Trailer Voice Man

Take me with you Trailer Voice Man. 

I'm yours forever and always. 

Sigh. 

So yes. 

This morning belonged to the voice behind the great American film trailer. 

No one else effects me both mentally and physiologically in quite the same way. Saying that, I don't think anyone else effects me mentally or physiologically at all, just him. 

Even a "good morning" in that voice is all a bit too much for me, and I become incapacitated by my love for him. 

The low frequency sound waves go straight through my skin and ricochet around inside me until I don't know if I'm going to be sick or pass out or cry. All of which are very real possibilities. I settled with a bit of one eye cry, if you're curious.

The peak of my involuntary floundering came just as he was leaving when he jokingly picked up the entire fruit bowl and walked out with it. 

He came back chuckling and saying "oh I really could" to which I obviously replied with the sufficiently retarded response of "yes... you could". 

He then explained to me that fruit, veg and soya milk is basically his entire diet to which I volunteered that a ridiculous number of cigarettes must also be involved some how. 

He told me that the voice mostly came from bourbon and that cigarettes are only good at specific times "if you know what I mean..." *wink*

....

...

..

.

I'm far too sensitive for this shit. 

The Evil One

There's a woman who edits here, she's not any level of schleb at all but she's evil. Not just an easy kind of evil that you can just hate and be done with it, but an awful kind of 80% evil which you can spend most of the time hating and then she hits you with that other 20% of awesome and you're all like "oooh but she's so nice, maybe I got her wrong".

She has the most beautiful little boy and coming me thats a huge compliment.
She also looks strangely pretty today in this lovely tight black dress... maybe she has a date today.

I mean, she can't actually be married... can she?

HOLY FUCK

ZOMG!!

BREAKING NEWS!!

DAVID ATTENBOROUGH WILL BE COMING IN TO THE OFFICE AT SOME POINT.
DAVID FUCKING ATTENBOROUGH!!!!!!!



HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I LOVE MY JOB!

Robson Green

Every knows my feelings about Robson Greene.
He's so geniunely lovely that he's one of my top 2 favourite people that come to visit me.

My all time favourite Robson moment was when someone was exceptionally rude to me whilst he was sitting reading a magazine and he offered to knock them out for me.
Apparently chivalry isn't dead.

But as much as my love for Robson overfloweth, I don't need to know when he's "pissing for england".

Robert Willfort

Oh look who's just rocked up!
A man who I primarily know as the guy who gets down to his pants in that water flume Barclaycard Advert but was apparently also in Gavin and Stacey and Harry Potter for a bit.

I wish he would wash his hair.
But then I suppose it's very easy for curls to get unmanagable...

Kate Garraway

Oh Kate Garraway, I mean, I know you're blessed anyway but I think you just took out my eye with that chest of yours.
The poor dear was apparently hounded by a papparrazi all the way here and I did notice some car beeping kerfuffle outside. But really.... for Garraway.... really??

I kind of wish my hair was as thick as hers although if it was I wouldn't let it look like a tranny wig.


Saying bitchy things about nice people really gets me through my mornings.

Also, as exciting as pap beeping is, i'm strangely more excited about the booking with "Heat World" who are in today. I might tell them I love them.

Kate Garraway

This morning we had a visit from Kate Garraway who looked beautiful and was clearly nipping off for a jaunt somewhere as she came in with a big bag. Saying that, I didn't actually see her leave with my own peepers, so maybe she's just going to hide out in the laundry room for the rest of eternity. I mean, times are hard afterall.

She had a lovely summer scarf on too.
White silk with a nice floral pattern which I kind of wanted to pin her down to rip off her neck and wear. Maybe next time.

Ben Fogle

Ben Fogle was in this morning. I hear he's gotten over his flesh eating virus which is nice for him. He seems a very unlucky chap and I half expected him to limp in with his arm falling off, a gammy eye and at least a bit of flesh missing but he looked fighting fit.

Nice chap, very well spoken.
Could do with a haircut though, I reckon.

Welcome one and all.

I work in an edit house in Soho.
This is my story.